


Hold me

by ca_te



Category: Glee
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-11 13:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written on 22 February 2010.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Hold me

**Author's Note:**

> Written on 22 February 2010.

It was around 10 pm, Finn was lying on his stomach on his bed, playing Half Life 2. His fingers were aching slightly but he really didn't care, indeed he was about to beat his own record. So he focused his attention on the virtual man running and shooting on the screen. Then his phone rang. At the beginning Finn tried to ignore it, c'mon it was an historical moment he couldn't waste it to answer to some phone call. Probably it was Rachel, asking him out again, after all he had definitely broken up with Quinn. The phone stopped ringing, Finn sighed in content and continued to focus on the video game. He liked it when his mom was out with some friends and he could keep the volume up, he had always thought that what made a good video game was also the soundtrack, indeed he usually referred to "Monkey Island" as an example.

The character on the screen was jumping high, trying to avoid enemies' shots when the phone started to ring again. Finn bit his lower lip, probably it was better to answer if the person was calling again after such a short time. He pressed the pause button and picked up his mobile. Kurt's voice poured into his ear, it was shaky and sounded so frail that it was hard to stand. Finn imagined how Kurt's eyes, filled with tears, could look like, it wasn't a good idea, 'cause he felt something knotting up inside him right away. He knew he shouldn't have felt like that, he shouldn't have imagined Kurt's crying eyes as one of the most breathtaking things on Earth. Definitely nor. He shook his head and focused on Kurt's broken words.

-F-Finn, a-are you t-there?

Finn swallowed, running a hand through his hair.

-Y-Yeah Kurt, what's up?

Without even noticing it Finn started to walk around his room, stepping over the wires of the joystick and over the t-shirt and boxers scattered over the floor.

-P-Please come here.

Finn stopped in his tracks, it was as if his blood had stopped for a second to flow normally and had frozen up. He couldn't remember to have felt so worried for anyone, except for himself when Quinn had told him that she was pregnant with his child.

He opened his mouth and closed it again, Kurt's soft sobs in his ears. The words came out of his mouth without effort, as if he had always been meant to pronounce them.

-I-I'll come right away.

Fin cut off the phone-call, turned off his Play station and ran down the stairs. He didn't even bother to switch off the lights, he just closed the door behind himself and climbed into the car.

The streetlamps passed quickly one after the other as Finn speeded up along the roads. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be at Kurt's side, no matter what. He parked in front of the Hummel's house. He sighed in relief when he saw that Burt Hummel's car was not in sight, then he ran up to the door and pressed his shaking finger to the bell.

The sound of the door being unlocked echoed in his ears, he turned towards the road for a second, there was no one in sight, everything was silent. Then the door was opened and Kurt was standing in front of him. Finn felt as if something was squeezing his heart at the sight of the smaller boy, ruffled hair and shoulders shaken by the sobs. It was like looking at a wonderful, broken porcelain statue.

-C-Come in.

Kurt moved to the side and Finn entered the house. There was just a little table light lit in the entrance, Finn imagined how hard it must have been for Kurt to be crying alone. He would have never expected to be the one whom Kurt called. Alright they were friends, but there had always been some kind of awkwardness between them, with the voices of Kurt having a crush on him, with the fact that more than once he had woken up wet after having dreamt of the other boy, with the way Finn had always felt safe when Kurt was comforting him.

Kurt moved in silence and closed the door, he gestured to Finn to follow him and went down the stairs towards his room. It was the first time Finn had ever been in Kurt's house, and he definitely was a bit embarrassed at the idea of staying in Kurt's room, but he didn't say anything, even though he wasn't particularly brilliant, he knew that he didn't want to make things worst for Kurt, so he swallowed it all and followed. He couldn't stop a smile as he took a look of Kurt's room, so tidy and perfect as he had always imagined.

Finn's breath itched as he felt the soft weight of Kurt's head against his chest. Kurt's elegant hands were gripping the front of his jumper, he could feel Kurt's sobs reverberating through his body.

Finn stood there, his heart beating fast, without knowing what to do as Kurt's tears started to wet his jumper.

-F-Finn…

The broken sound of Kurt's voice made Finn want to cry, and he slowly, shyly, brought his arms up, encircling Kurt's little body.

-I-I am here, Kurt, shh don't worry.

Finn let his fingers caress Kurt's hair, they were soft, even though they were messy. Kurt slowly slid his arms around Finn's waist. Finn blushed, it was the first time he had been hugged by Kurt, it was the first time that someone had held him as if he was the most important thing on Earth. It was the first time that all the distance which had been there, between them, since the beginning, disappeared.

Slowly Finn cupped Kurt's face in his hands, he found himself hoping that his skin was not too rough against the silky one of Kurt's cheeks.

-Kurt, look at me. What's up?

Kurt blinked, small salty droplets stuck between his eyelashes. He bit his lower lip, and Finn had to fight back the urge to pass a finger over Kurt's lips.

-I…I don't…I just didn't want to be alone tonight...

Finn tried to force himself to understand but with no use. He blushed lightly at the thought that Kurt could think he was an idiot. He really didn't care if the others thought he was stupid, probably to a certain extent they were right, but he really couldn't stand the idea of Kurt thinking that. Just…probably he really wasn't good enough to understand what was troubling the boy who was sobbing against his chest.

-K-Kurt, I'm sorry but I…uhm…really don't understand…

Kurt's eyes were shining as little pearls of ice because of the tears, he took in a deep breath, Finn could imagine the air twirling in his lungs before going out again. The thought of how Kurt's breath always smelled of fruit crossed Finn's mind.

-I…today is the anniversary of my mom's death…

Finn could feel Kurt's grip on his jumper loosen and instinctively he pressed lightly his hand against Kurt back, preventing him from backing away. He could feel Kurt's body tensing up against his own.

-I…I'm sorry Finn, I…I'm not a baby anymore and…

Finn felt something dropping inside of him, he tended to forget that Kurt had experienced the same feelings he had felt on his own skin. The little Finn who couldn't have the luxury to call out for a dad hadn't been so different from the small Kurt who couldn't call for a mother. They were both small when it happened, but what people tended to not understand was that they were old enough to feel that void. And Finn knew perfectly that there was no reason for Kurt not to miss his mother, or not to cry for her. It was just natural. As it was natural for Finn to lean down in that moment and press his lips over Kurt's, salty for the tears. He could feel Kurt gripping hard his jumper again, slowly beginning to answer to the kiss. Finn almost jumped as Kurt ran his soft tongue over his lower lip. Something warm twirled in Finn's lower stomach and he slowly opened his mouth. With Quinn or Rachel there had been arousal, but with Kurt there was sweetness and salt on their tongues, there was the feeling that they could share something. It was as if those small kids they were when they had lost one of their parents were able to finally meet each other. When they broke the kiss, gasping for some air, Kurt's eyes were slightly fogged, and his knees were shaky, the tears dried over his cheeks.

-F-Finn you don't have to do this, I mean…

Finn just closed his eyes and pulled Kurt in for another kiss. The smaller boy stood on his toes, latching his arms around Finn's neck. Finn thought that Kurt was definitely small, and soft, and beautiful. Yes beautiful was the word which took form in Finn's mind, and he felt dumb 'cause he hadn't realized it sooner, 'cause he had never realized how much warmth could give him staying with Kurt, as a bright light into a dark room.

When they broke the kiss Kurt hid his face against Finn's chest and Finn let his hands slide up and down gently along Kurt's spine. He had never felt such a desire to be gentle, to ease someone else's pain or sadness. Quinn, Rachel, his own mother were strong, he had seen them crying but behind their tears there hadn't been the beauty hidden behind Kurt's. He focused his attention again on the boy whose body was pressing against his own, Kurt was looking at him, his eyes wide and his cheeks a bit flushed. Finn had never been particularly brilliant, but he could see it, Kurt's fear to be left alone that night, lurking in the light blue of his irises.

Finn pulled back lightly, he bit his lower lip at the sight of Kurt's hurt expression. The smaller boy was about to talk but Finn pressed his index over his lips- the thought of their softness crossing his mind-and then took his mobile phone from his pocket. He quickly wrote a text and sent it. Kurt moved away, visibly offended, shaky hands on his hips.

-Now Finn…

Finn smiled, one of those loop-sided smiles of his, and held the mobile in front of Kurt's pouting face.

A smile blossomed on Kurt's face as he was reading. "I'm at Kurt's. Going to sleep here. See you tomorrow." Finn felt again something warm going up and down inside of him as he saw the blush on Kurt's cheeks.

-So you going to put me up for the night right?

Finn hadn't expect Kurt to hug him so tight, his thin arms around his waist. In his life there hadn't been any other hug as the one Kurt was giving him. Probably he was being dumb again, but the adjective that came to his mind-indeed from where were all those adjectives and ideas coming?-was fresh, fresh as a glass of water after football practice, or yeah something like that. He held Kurt tight, the sensation of how close they were to each other making his head spin.

 

That night Finn couldn't sleep, being in Kurt's room and having him sleeping by his side was just too much. As he was looking up to the ceiling Finn smiled thinking about how Kurt had insisted for the both of them to sleep on mattresses on the floor, he hadn't wanted Finn to sleep on the floor while he was sleeping in the bed.

Finn shifted to look at Kurt's sleeping face, some hair had fallen in front of his eyes but Finn could still see how pale, almost milky, Kurt's eyelids were. He slowly traced the contours of Kurt's ear, Kurt moaned softly in his sleep and Finn felt his cheeks growing hotter. He really didn't know what the meaning of all of that could be, he didn't know if he was really gay or not, and he just didn't want to think about that, lying there by Kurt's side, his desire to touch the smaller boy almost tangible in the air. He just knew that he was where he wanted to be.


End file.
